Healing.

Well she read the blog. She actually read it. A part of me thought the text would get ignored. I thought she had already gotten completely over me…that she never hurt when she heard someone say my name…the way I did when I heard hers.

But she DID read it. And…she sent me a text! I’m seriously laying here crying because I’m so happy. She still cares about me. She thought about me. She’s familiar but different in some ways (her favorite color is now blue in all different shades). The best part is that the conversation is calm…i feel at ease.

I have a problem with always wanting to be right. The right side of any argument. But I’ve learned that no one is ever completely right. I was right on some things…but on others, I was so so wrong. And ending a 16 year friendship only so I could feel ‘right’ was wrong.

I went to church the other Sunday with my grandparents. Before the service I prayed that God would help me find my special meaning in the message that day. It was about recognizing your ‘dark side’. We are not perfect, each of us has several things that make us sinners. That’s how I figured this all out. I needed to forgive…I needed to be forgiven. I needed to stop holding things against me. I needed to stop judging people who sin differently then me. What better place to make a change than my best friend?

I love you, and I’ll never stop feeling sorry for what I did.

To Patrick,

My darling, today is our one year anniversary. To other couples, its not such a huge deal…but for us? Look at how strong we are! I don’t care if people read this and think I am crazy…because to be honest I AM crazy! I am crazy about your laugh, your eyes, your voice, how you treat me, the way you look at me!

My name is Brittany and the love of my life lives 900 miles away from me. We’ve never physically met. We Skype or FaceTime at least once about everyday. He treats me like a princess. When I hear his voice I get butterflies. He makes me feel, beautiful…and smart. He has stood by me and all the hard times. When I started college and was a nervous wreck, when my best friend turned her back on me, when I decided to get a second job, when I wanted to join my sorority…he was there. Always there cheering me on. Just the other day, I got a bad phone call from my mom…people, Adults actually, were talking about me trying to make me look bad…I called him crying because I was so mad and hurt. Do you know what he said? He said Brittany I am here to support you. What those people did wasn’t right. But baby, keep your chin up. Those words made it all ok. A few days before that I was laying in bed talking to him and I started thinking about my grandparents who passed a few years back. I lost it. I cried and cried. Did he get upset or angry toward me? Absolutely not. He comforted me, let me get it all out. Shortly after we started talking I knew I would have to tell my parents about him because the more I got to know him, the more I just knew. We had some thing special. So one day I was driving with my dad, working up the courage to tell him…and a car passed in front of me. The licence plate read, ‘Patrick’. That’s when I knew that this was very special.

 

I love you so much Patrick. You’re my best friend, my rock, my boyfriend…my life. I can’t imagine living a single day of my life of my life without being able to call you mine. When I was little, I LOVED The Little Mermaid (and I still do) but I always dreamed of meeting my prince charming. Someone who would love me for me, someone smart, caring, and brave. I never knew that my love story would be just like my favorite Princess’s. Ariel loved Eric, someone from a different world. Eric’s kingdom wanted to see him happily settled down. Ariel’s family doesn’t understand how she could love some one so different…not even the same species! But eventually, everyone understands that they belong together. I live very far from you, but I am fin over head in love with you. Your family wants to see you settle down with a girl who at least lives in your state! My family still thinks I am crazy for being in a relationship with so many miles between us. And like Ariel…I would do anything for just three days with you. Even give my voice to a wicked sea witch. I know someday….we will have an ending just like Ariel and Eric’s. A wedding with all our family and friends. How do I know this? Because last week I asked you where you wanted us to be in 5 years. You said that you wanted us to be together forever…and that you wanted to hear the sound of little feet…watch our daughter jump into bed with us and we will cuddle her. To me, there is no better response. It may not happen like that exactly but, at least I know you want the same things I do.

This has by far been the best year of my life. I love you more than the distance from here till the end of the universe. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like you. EVERY girl deserves to date a Patrick…someone who puts her best interests first. You are so much like my dad. The man who loved me first…gave me my love of reading, tried to teach me how to ride a bike, we even eat spaghetti the same way. He has always been a great father and husband to my mom. He always provides for us…and I am lucky to find someone who treats me the way he treats my mom. And… if you’re half the father to our children as my dad has been for me? You’ll be an outstanding father. I am so blessed.

I love you

I love you

I love you

 

 

Wedding Bells soon?