My Love ❤️

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I’m laying here wide awake. It’s about 7:30 in the morning…everyday this past week I needed to be up early for work I couldn’t drag myself from bed, go figure. Skype is surprisingly still on, normally by now Hazelnut has turned it off by walking on the keys. And guess what? You’ve never looked so handsome to me. You’re wearing a long sleeved shirt, and sleep has pushed the sleeves up to your elbow. The material is pulled tight across your chest. Your face looks so peaceful and I wonder what you are dreaming about. I watch you sleep and my heart flutters. I can easily picture myself sliding in next to you under that manly comforter of yours. If I close my eyes…I can almost feel the warmth of your body so close to mine. We don’t have sex, we don’t need to. We get our high off just being together. I would use your chest as my pillow…maybe. Or I might kick you all night. I have no idea, but it doesn’t matter as long as I’m with you. I’m so In love with you Patrick. Given the chance, I still would never change a thing about you. You’re the perfect man for me, my other half. My soul mate. You always treat me with kindness and respect. You empower me and praise me. You’re always there for me to fall back on. I’m in love. It doesn’t matter if everything else falls apart. We have this thing that is so strong it won’t fail us. I can’t wait till May, so I can finally hold you…kiss you…normal couple things. It’s going to be the most magical day of my life…in the most magical place on earth! I just love you so much baby. Sweet dreams,
xoxoxoxoxo
Your Baby Girl

Are You Smarter than a 4th Grader?

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Because the college students at Texas Tech in this video are not.

This is one of the most disappointing things I have ever seen. These are American 20 somethings. Obviously well educated (being in college means they SHOULD have the basics skills and knowledge required to pass elementary, middle, and high school) however, they fail to know some of the most important and I would presume widely known history of our country.

1. Who won the civil war?

One of the students she asks is African American, which makes it all the more disappointing when he looks at her like shes the loch ness monster. He had no idea. How sad is that!? Another student asked ‘WHICH CIVIL WAR’. Please educate me on the other civil wars???

2. Who is our Vice President?

Most of them didn’t even try! They shrugged their shoulders and said ‘I have no idea’. Wow.

3. Who did we gain our independence from?

Again just blank stares. WHERE DID THESE PEOPLE RECEIVE THEIR EDUCATION? Honestly I remember learning about the revolutionary war just about every year since like the fifth grade…somebody sit these students down and make them watch Liberty’s Kids (like my favorite show growing up)

The list goes on and on…BUT have no fear, these students did know the answer to a few VERY important questions:

What show is Snooki on? Who is Brad Pitt married to? Who was he married to before that?

Just think. These students are old enough to vote. Even more scary, some of them are probably registered voters who actually take to the polls. These students are in charge of leading America into the future. How can we possibly do that with out knowing our history? Knowing our values and our core beliefs. Knowing the struggle it’s been to get to where we are today.

Please I beg you, WAKE UP! Learn about this great country that you have the PRIVILEGE to say that ‘I am an American.’ Do you know how many people would swim through a sea of thumb tacks to be able to say that?  Take pride in our country. Take care of it. Guard it with everything you have. Protect it. Start by learning why this country is so important. As an American you have so many rights, but do you know how we got them? What it takes to keep them? America didn’t just appear on day…it took blood sweat and tears to form the first country on earth that took a shot at democracy. Then you need to keep up with today’s politics. I’m not saying you have to watch every Address the Nation, or political debate…but keep a basic understanding at least.

Please try a little harder.

New Year means a Second Chance

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The movie ‘Forrest Gump’ is famous, partly due to the iconic quotes that come from the movie.

quotes such as:

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”

“RUN FORREST RUN!”

“Jenny and Me were like peas and carrots.”

However, there is one quote that isn’t as famous as the others.

“I just love the New Year. Everyone gets a second chance.”

Ok that may not be exactly what was said, but you get the picture. Even though the girl who said it seemed to be an empty headed bar slut, the phrase is beautifully truthful.

This past year, has been stressful. A lot of bad happened, I lost my best friend…I lost my kitty Kali. However, some pretty amazing things happened this year. I joined a sorority! (Phi Sigma Sigma forever!) I made a new best friend (looking at you Sydney!) Also I adopted a new furbaby Hazelnut Grace!

Here is my list of goals for 2015 (and the strength to keep up with them)

1. I have created a study plan for the new semester, hopefully I can drastically improve my grades.

2. I want to go out more. I am not the typical college sorority college girl. I don’t go out. I don’t party. I really don’t have a taste for ‘parties’ but I would like to get out more.

3. This may sound crazy but I want to delete the stupid games from my phone that I’m semi addicted to. (Sims Freeplay and that stupid Kim Kardashian game) and focus on more important things.

4. Improve my health

5. I want to try more things, like do or try one new thing a day.

6. Learn lots of new skills

7. find time to do what I love. I thought college and two jobs was keeping me from finding time to read…but binge watching netflixs doesn’t help.

8. STOP BINGE WATCHING NETFLIXS

9. Improve my relationships. Recently I was reunited with a part of my family I thought I would never see again and I can’t wait to rebuild that relationship. I want to improve my relationship with my parents, even though we already have a good thing going. Improve communication with my long distant friends Aubrie and Katie…and the ones who live close to me Sydney and Kylee. Also this WILL be the year I finally meet my Prince Charming Patrick. I’ll make it happen one way or another.

10. Never stop chasing that dream. Whatever it may be. I’ve changed my mind a million times, but I won’t settle till I am happy.

So there ya have it folks! I’m not asking for too much right?

Good luck on the New Year!

Hey Friends

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It’s been awhile since we last “talked” and let me tell you, life has been crazy

First, I wanted to formally introduce my new Kitten, Hazelnut Grace. I’m sure you have seen her cuteness on my instagram. I got her only a few days after Kali’s death. I know it was very fast but, I couldn’t stand to come home to an empty apartment any more. I had a void in my chest and it made me feel like I couldn’t breath. Even after the introduction of this adorable ball of fur into my life…I still sank into a depression. I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything…and I am only now getting out of that.

Thankfully I acquired a second job…at my forth favorite place on earth (1. Walt Disney World. 2. Paris, France. 3. Rome, Italy) GOODWILL. Yes, I have a job at the thrift store and honestly…I love it. My coworkers are amazing…they have taught me so much and have been willing to not just be coworkers…but also friends. The shoppers are great, I rarely RARELY have a cross costumer. I am happier there then I have been anywhere…even the Bookstore. Even my bosses are kind and can be really fun.

Opps Patrick’s calling 😛 I’ll finish this up later

Love you guys!

To My Future Children

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As I am writing this, I am only a day away from my twentieth birthday. My favorite color is yellow, I love tacos, and I am obsessed with The Little Mermaid. I don’t know you yet but…I want you to know that I love you; and you own every once of my heart.

When people ask me what my biggest fear is; I normally tell them I fear being alone. This is not completely true, I value my alone time. What I really fear is the inability to have children. Thankfully if you’re reading this it means that my fear is now irrelevant. I have always wanted you. I have always wanted to be your mom.

When I was 16, a LOT of my friends were having children. It was happening all across America. I dreamed about you, I thought and prayed for you. However, I obviously did not have you at 16….even though it would have been easy to do. I had a boyfriend at the time and many of my friends were already starting their families. But I didn’t. Why?

I was thinking about you. The boy I was dating at 16? He would not have been a good father for you. Which means I would have to work instead of finishing school…what kind of life would that have been for you…for us? Every choice I have made since I was 13…was with you in mind. Everything from my dating relationships to my college major. I thought about you before I knew you, and I am already in love with you.

I will always be glad that I took the time to enjoy my youth before settling down. At this moment I am considering dying my hair Ariel Red…because I’m young and I’ll never have the chance to do this again.

Your mother is not perfect…even your father has his imperfections. We have both made mistakes in our lives. However, we made sure you would not be one of those mistakes. We want to wait till after we are married and able to support ourselves before we have you…which means you’ll grow up in a home where you are always taken care of and you know we love you dearly.

My message for you is this: Do not grow up too quick. Take the time to take in the scenery on the way up.

Yankee Candle FUNdraiser!

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Looking for a quick easy Christmas Gift? Without going to the store? I am selling the famous Yankee Candles for a fundraiser! The proceeds from my candle sales will help me pay my Sorority dues. As a member of Phi Sigma Sigma I am an active part of the community, I volunteer and donate goods. Please visit the website to place an order to help me continue to grow as a woman. But by quick! This fundraiser ends tomorrow, November 24 at midnight so get those orders in!

https://www.yankeecandlefundraising.com/ycfroot/store.htm

Thank you!
(make sure that my name is located in the box on the left hand of the page)

Princesses under Attack

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Currently in my college English class we are discussing a topic that REALLY bugs me.

We have been asked to write a paper discussing the Disney Princesses through feminists eyes.

I have a problem with this. My Professor is pressing the idea that the princesses are anti feminists and therefore bad role models for young girls.

It is admirable that as a male he is interested in the topic of role models for girls. I am happy that he wants to be part of a solution…but blaming it on the Princess industry is wrong.

There are all kinds of arguments about the princesses, the early one in particular.

For instance…the first three Princesses: Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora; are charges with lack of adventure.

Ariel, my personal favorite, is charged with a long list of offenses…her slim waist, changing her body, and falling in love.

Belle from Beauty and the Beast promotes abuse.

Jasmine teachers girls that lying is OK, oh and don’t forget she has a pet tiger.

The newer princesses are commended due to their free spirits.

Mulan, saves china…but she did it by cross dressing

Tiana, first princess to have a job…is a workaholic

Rapunzel…runs away from home…kinda

Anna and Elsa? They aren’t perfect either. Anna tries to marry a man she just met and Elsa lets fear run her life.

Yes they are imperfect. Does that make them bad role models? NO. Because guess what…the little girl in your life is also imperfect. She will make mistakes and do crazy things that will make you shake her head. That is not a princess problem..it’s a part of life.

These Princesses can bring so much to the table.

Snow White, the original princesses, often called the purist princess, is often the most criticized. She’s harmful to young girls because she waits for Prince Charming to find her. She has no adventure. Guess what? I am 20 years old, a full time student, with two jobs. I don’t have time for adventure either! Trust me I didn’t learn that from watching Snow White as a tot. What did Snow White teach me? Humility, selflessness, love for animals, kindness. Are those horrible things for our daughters to learn?

Cinderella? She was a victim of abuse, much like many kids today. However, through it all she never loses her hope and gentleness. She went to the ball and fell in love. Some say it’s irrational for her to have fallen in love in one night…but is it? No. It is not dangerous for girls to believe in love at first sight. Some say she only loved him because he was the Prince…but if you watch the movie…she had no idea she was dancing with the Prince!

Aurora, sleeping beauty, sadly she sleeps through most of the movie. However, from what we do see of her, she is sweet and kind. She believes in love. She knows someday that love will find her, and she will be OK until it happens.

Ariel…oh sweet princess of the sea who is blamed for so much. Ariel knew she didn’t belong under the sea…LONG before she met Prince Eric. When we first meet her, she’s exploring boats and trying to learn as much about humans as she can! She is passionate about it and has a love of learning. When she meets Eric, I don’t believe she really loved him as much as she thought…She was in love of the idea of being a human. Eric was just an added bonus. She tells her father, King Triton, that she loves him…but I think she was being a typical teenager. She gives up her voice for legs, she makes the choice to be human and leave her home. Guess what? Hopefully at some point ALL children leave their parents home to lead their own lives. She makes this choice because she never quite fit in under the sea. I believe she makes the choice out of good faith that everything will work out. She goes out with Eric and I think that is when she actually falls in love with him. They fight for each other, and eventually they get married. Ariel is strong, passionate, and sure of herself. As for her slim waist…she SWIMS EVERY WHERE SHE GOES FOR 16 YEARS!

Belle…She loves a beast because she sees the man she believe he could be. She knows he is scared of being hurt, so she works with him to be the man she knows he can be. She is able to look past the disabilities and deformities. To her, looks don’t matter…it is the heart that matters.

Jasmine, She is the feminist Princess. She proclaims herself as not being a prize to be won. She wants to marry for love. She doesn’t think she is any less of a woman if she doesn’t get married before her next birthday. In the end she picks a common street rat for his heart of gold.

Mulan…SHE SAVED HER FATHER, HER FELLOW TROOPS, THE EMPEROR, SHANG, and oh yeah…ALL OF CHINA! She’s a warrior and takes action.

Tiana…has a dream and works hard to achieve it.

Rapunzel, is good and kind…but she has a dream. She goes on an adventure to make her dreams come true.

Anna and Elsa, of course prove the true love doesn’t always have to be true loves kiss between lovers…it can be actions between sisters.

So expalin to me how these princesses are bad for girls? I have always believed that I AM a princess. Why? Because I possess all the qualities these Princesses taught me as a little girl. I am a dreamer, I am passionate, I am a good friend, I love animals (except opossums…those freak me out), I believe in true love, and most importantly…I believe in myself. How are those bad qualities? If we want to point out bad influences for little girls, point your finger at the media. Photo shop, air brushing, Miley Cyrus, Models, little girls being put on strict diets…lets point our fingers at the things that tell little girls that if they are not thin, they are ugly. If they are smart, they need to back off because science and math is a man’s game. The princesses are thin, I will agree with that…I was over weight as a child and I still am…but the Princesses NEVER made me feel bad about myself. I knew that my favorite princesses would love me just the way I was. What did make me feel bad was the little girls stores like Limited Too (now called Justice I believe), Aeropostale, and many other stores that didn’t carry clothes in my size. There was only one store I could shop at as a little girl, JC Penney…and their little girls plus section was notorious for carrying the ugliest clothes. Jeans with sequin butterflies up the legs and shirts with ugly styled fonts on them saying things like SMILE, PEACE, or any number of things. An other one of my friends had the same shopping experiences as children and we STILL talk about it.

I have always and will always love the Disney Princesses movies. They helped me become who I am today, and I am pretty proud of that person. I will always have pixie dust in my heart and a Tiara on my head. I am a princess, long may I reign!

The Case for Virginity

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A few weeks ago I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and stumbled across a blog article. I can’t remember the title but it’s not very important. The article was written by woman who had taken a purity pledge as a young girl. She took the pledge as a 10 year old and kept the pledge till she was married. However, she blames the pledge for giving her anxiety problems. She writes about how on her wedding night she was unhappy because she felt that somehow she was still sinning. She pretended to enjoy sex with her husband for years. Eventually she had to seek counseling for her problem.

Not very many people know but I too took a purity pledge, I was 13 years old. It’s not always easy, I’ll be the first to admit that. There is also the problem of defining virginity. My boyfriend is not a virgin but, he supports me and respects me. I have never felt any pressure from him (the distance helps) but I believe even if we lived in the same house that Patrick would never ever push me into doing anything.

Lately I have seen a swamp of articles claiming that it is disgusting to ask these young girls to make this promise. What is disgusting about it? I believe if a girl is old enough to understand the pledge she is making then why is it a problem? What is so gross about a girl deciding that she doesn’t want to give away her innocence. A girl who is strong in herself and doesn’t feel the pressure to take her clothes off to feel love. A girl that respects herself and her body and wants to find true love with someone else who will respect her body.

Let me tell you, keeping my virginity has made my life pretty stress free. I don’t have to worry about being pregnant…actually my boyfriend and I can joke about that when I am late. Two days ago my campus had free HIV/AIDS testings…guess what? Taking that test would be about as relevant as giving me a pregnancy test! If either one comes back positive? God must have given it to me.

The End of an Era

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Well, some pretty major things are coming up in my life.

November 26th is Patrick and I’s anniversary! 1 year and 3 months!

November 27th is my favorite holiday! Thanksgiving!

and November 28th marks the end of a chapter in my life.

My 20th birthday. I am finally waving goodbye to those awkward teenage years…it’s hard to believe that it has only been seven years! So what have I done the past seven years?

Well…I had my first boyfriend. My first heartbreak. I traveled to Europe and went to five countries! I dated a pastors kid…and I dated a looser baby daddy. I graduated from high school. I met the man of my dreams. I started college. I have changed my major three times. I joined a sorority. I went to my first ‘party’ (and hated it).

So four boyfriend, six counties, and 7 grades more educated…what have I figured out?

Honestly? Nothing. I still feel just as lost as I did on my 13th birthday when I realized for the first time that Peter Pan would not be carrying me off to Neverland anytime soon.

However, I have figured out that I shelter myself…a lot. It’s OK that I don’t like to drink…or party…or do anything else that could lead to a tarnished reputation. But there are so many things I have always wanted to do, but I just haven’t for what ever reason. Well what better time to do all those things then when you’re in your 20s?

1. I AM getting a gym membership. No more putting it off

2. I am dying my hair….ARIEL RED

3. I might be getting a small tattoo 🙂 Maybe 🙂